you know ‘em. you love ‘em. Sephora ten-year-olds.

if you don’t live under a rock, you’ve most likely seen countless of TikToks of twenty-something-year-olds telling stories about how they’ve gotten into verbal and borderline physical fights with ten-year-olds in the makeup store, Sephora. the narrators of the story will always be doing their everyday makeup on camera while telling the story about how they almost poured an entire bottle of Glow Recipe’s Watermelon Glow PHA + BHA Pore-Tight Toner over the head of a child in a matching mint Lululemon tracksuit because they were taking the last shade of a Rare Beauty Blush in “Grace.” (none of these words were in the Bible.) 

i was able to sense a pattern with these videos. first, they introduce the topic. it always starts off with “alright, so i’m going to hop on the trend and talk about these gremlins and my experience with them.” they say as they start applying e.l.f’s gel primer to their face. 

then, as they are about to apply foundation, they go into why they were at Sephora at the time o the event. usually, it’s to pick up a product that they use frequently and the product will most likely be a Drunk Elephant product. 

Drunk Elephant is a brand is known for its expensive skincare. however, no dermatologist has not once recommended a product from this brand. they do have pretty dope and attractive packaging, which consists of square-shaped bottles containing colorful tops and designed with a minimalistic line drawing of an elephant. most of their clientele is … you guessed it … children. however, no product that they have released is meant for anyone below the age of 18 (like retinol serums and such.) 

the person recording the video goes on about how they’re embarrassed that they use any product from this brand. they state that the product they enjoy actually helps and works.

then after three minutes of explanation, the story finally begins. this is how it goes: the person enters Sephora and makes a bee-line to the product they claim is their holy grail. while making their way, they see that there is only one item in stock. as they are arriving to the destination, they notice a girl (or a group of girls) who are about nine or ten on the other side of the store going towards the same direction.

as they both reach for the product. the tinier hand grasps it first, followed by the words “beat you to it !”

the adult in the situation then begins to sweet talk the little girl, explaining how the product is not made for her and how much they would appreciate it if the girl would hand her the (usually) Drunk Elephant product.

the girl refuses and then insults the adult. there was one person who said a girl pointed out her acne saying, “at least i don’t have to connect the dots on my face.” saying this automatically crowns her winner of the desired item. she then buys the skincare with her mom’s credit card.

i’ve seen videos from Sephora employees saying that girls would interrupt a conversation between an employee and a customer to ask for a specific shade of Rare Beauty Blush that is right in front of them. apparently none of them can read. 

another video i saw was from an employee who rung up two sisters who’s totals were about $1,400 together. after some awkward public arguing between the mother and her children, they were able to get the price down to $1,000.

there are common themes within these groups of children: 1. they are all rude. 2. they don’t take no for an answer. 3. their parents pay for all of their products. 4. they are always buying from trendy brands as seen on TikTok.

there’s a lot to break down here and a lot of factors that play into this plague. i’m going to start with millennials.

first, let me connect this to ipad babies. these children were probably born during 2013—2014ish. the first iPad released was 2010. currently, we are experiencing a generation of children raised by iPads and it’s frightening. this is a group of children who’s first binky was a blue-light screen. now i don’t mean to act how boomers did when children were introduced to the microwave or something but i’m sure there are studies about how dangerous exposure to iPads can be during brain development. like … these children can’t read nor do they have good manners from what i’ve heard/seen. 

anyways enough of that.

when i was treated to mall time in the 2000s, i would first hit the Disney store, followed by Build-a-Bear, followed by Justice, followed by Claire’s, followed by Icing (owned by Claire’s and conveniently located next to it), then ended the successful shopping day with Dip-n-Dots. it was pure bliss. i would probably buy a fake plastic flip phone with some shitty sparkly lip gloss in it (because at the time i desperately wanted a phone. ironic, innit ?) then buy some shitty makeup brushes that have lasted me till this very day. what i’m trying to say here is, yeah, i was obsessed with makeup and technology too. however, i was slowly introduced to it. shitty makeup and samples your mom gets from Carson’s is a great way to start playing with your face. rubbing your dirty, small fingernails into free eyeshadow or lipstick samples doesn’t hurt anyone. 

i went to the mall recently and noticed there aren’t a lot of kids stores. i went to Build-a-Bear for the first time in ages because Sanrio announced their collab with Build-a-Bear and was selling stuffed pompompurins. i noticed they changed the design of all of their bears where it looks like they are all on ozempic… even after all of the stuffing. not cute. pretty uncanny if you ask me. Justice, the children’s store that sold hot pink fluffy diaries with locks and shirts with cartoon monkeys that say “PEACE” on it, is no longer there either. now, Claire’s is barely holding onto a thread. 

i recently saw this video and, guys, i’m scared. it’s a video of two 8 year olds following the trend that goes “we’re ____… of course we ____.” in this case it's “we’re gen alpha influencers … of course –“ then say something that gen alpha influencers can relate apparently ? they say things like “of course our favorite stores are Ulta and Sephora,” “of course we’re obsessed with skincare,” and “of course we wear our trendy headband you see on every TikTok get ready with me while we do our makeup.” 

from what i noticed on their page, their mom runs the account. after scrolling for what seemed like forever, the mother’s first video post was in 2020 – posting (you guessed it) her toddlers. these twins have been growing up with a phone camera up to their faces recording their every move to post on social media for content for strangers to see. not to, like, judge but … i’m judging. 

to be clear, i’m not judging the children, however, i am critiquing their parents’ parenting styles. i’m sure what all these toddlers know is creating and consuming content due to unlimited access to the internet. first, they consume content that consists of grown women doing their luxurious makeup and skincare routines in their marble bathrooms. then, they create content doing the exact same thing except in front of their vanity with their bunk bed in the background. people’s fyp (for you page) shows toddlers doing a GRWM (get ready with me) while telling a story complaining about how stupid their mom is for not getting them a Starbucks limited edition pink Stanley cup or something. this isn’t my fyp because i’m not a complete weirdo, but i’ve seen the memes of grown adults mimicking these children — piling on copious amounts of moisturizer and foundation while whining and calling their fictional mom a “dumb bitch.”

all in all, i’m scared for these children to grow up and run the world. let’s hope gen z knows how to raise kids, if they even have any that is.

i’ll c u next week <3 
ziggy

-Sent from my IPhone